Daily Showering Tip (2/18/05)...

If you've already begun showering and realize that you've forgotten a towel, follow these directions. Finish showering, then air dry yourself. That's right, air dry. It may take a number of minutes or even an hour, but we can't risk getting the carpet or hardwood floors wet while you go running all over the house stark naked looking for a towel. The neighbors might see your naughty bits. And wet carpet is the perfect environment for germs to breed. As we all know, germs kill children. And wet hardwood floors are slippery and can swell and warp. Children can slip and fall on warped, wet wood floors and die. Unless you want dead kids all over the house, just be patient and wait in the shower and let nature's breezes dry your skin.

Ahhhh, nature's breezes...