Email thread: A friend moves...

From: Tim
Subject: I've moved
Date: Mon, 2 Jun 2003 12:16 PM

As my catchy subject line has already informed you, I've moved. My new address is:

xxxx N. Park Ave.
Indianapolis, IN 46220

My phone number will just be my cell phone for the time being, which is still (317) ###-####. Hope all is well, moving sucks, go Cubs.

Tim
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From: Jimmy Joe Johnson
Subject: Re: I've moved
Sent: Monday, June 02, 2003 1:47 PM

I knew I'd seen that address before...

From the Indianapolis Star, March 18, 2003:

"House Determined to be 'Extremely' Haunted"
By Terry Horne

INDIANAPOLIS -- Indianapolis Paranormal investigators (IPI's) determined Monday that a house at xxxx N. Park Ave. in Indianapolis is indeed "extremely" haunted and often experiences what IPI's like to call "Super-Duper Hauntings" or SDH's. When asked if all the acronyms were necessary, IPI John Dumyonyuk, or J.D., replied, "Yes."

Hauntings in the home will mostly manifest themselves as an unknown and unseen force lightly grabbing at your toes while you're trying to fall asleep. As frigging spooky as that is, more troubling events can occur. According to former residents Marge and Larry Applegrabber, these super-duper hauntings resulted in the death of their pet spider monkey named Mittens, and possibly the death of their marriage.

"Mittens was a good monkey, but he was weak and stupid. He shouldn't have jumped into that vortex. As far as our marriage is concerned, we're going through a tough time, " Mr. Applegrabber said. "Marge wants half of everything. I told her she already stole half my soul, but apparently that's not enough."

Ironically, a Class IV poltergeist tried to steal half of Mr. Applegrabber's soul last June. He was ultimately successful in warding off the deamon with his Oija board, which he religiously wears around his neck night and day. IPI's encourage any future tenants to tear up their lease and get out. Either that or dress up like Winona Rider in the hit 1988 movie "Beetlejuice" and fly around the staircase singing "Jump in the Line" by Harry Belafonte.

Terry Horne can be contacted at terry.horne@indystar.com
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From: Eric
Subject: Re: I've moved
Date: Monday, June 2, 3003, 7:22 PM

What's wrong with Jimmy Joe? This question should seriously be addressed by the Gin Committee. I have some theories, but will wait to hear your thoughts. Seriously, what is wrong with him?
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From: Jim
Subject: Re: I've moved
Date: Tuesday, June 3, 2003, 9:06 AM

In my opinion...Jimmy Joe's a genius and I'm jealous of his ability to be a complete whack job and appear normal.