More like Space CRAP...

I came across the movie "Space Camp" (1986) last weekend. It stars Kate Capshaw as camp instructor Andie Bergstrom and a young Lea Thompson as one of her students, Kathryn Fairly. Basic plot: kids go to space camp, kids participate in a booster rocket test firing, kids get "accidentally" launched into space by a too-cute robot named Jinx (because *robot voice* "Max and Jinx, friends forever."), kids use their kid know-how, kid teamwork, and kid creativity to save the day. I had seen this probably 5 times as a kid and loved it. But looking on it with the eyes of an adult, my views have changed. Here's my review of the movie. First, in Haiku form:

Kids as astronauts?
That's highly implausible.
Pass the grape soda.

This movie is ridiculous. Since when does NASA test fully fueled booster rockets on the launch pad while attached to a space shuttle filled with kids!? And why would they only have short range-radios on board at test time? Did they have to remove the long-range radios in order to clean them or re-wire them or something? Ridiculous! And thank God that space station was nearby so the kids could top up the oxygen tanks. I was starting to sweat there. I think NASA stands for Nerds And Stupid Assholes because, according to this movie, that seems to be who's running that organization. That's probably who produced this movie, too. By the way, Kathryn Fairly (Lea Thompson) gives a fairly lame performance. I give Space Camp one star (*).

Editor's note: I thought of the idea for a Haiku movie review on my own, but it seems that Haiku Movie Reviews beat me to it. So did Dimspace Movie Page, Crazy Mofos, and this guy. OK, and this guy, too. I'm an unoriginal bastard.