Daily Showering Tip (3/27/05)...

It is best to shower with water. Water is the universal solvent, which makes it the best liquid to use. Bathing experts have long tried to find a better alternative to water, but have come up empty. Liquids that failed to pass the test include:

• rubbing alcohol - cleans well, but shrivels the skin and eyeballs, gets Kitty Dukakis too drunk;
• 1,1,1- trichloroethylene - cleans well, spot free shine, but causes immediate skin and liver cancer;
• mercury - no cleaning properties, too heavy, makes bather look too much like Terminator 2, which scares kids;
• molten lead - kills germs instantly, kills bather instantly;
• rose water with guava, saffron and coconut extract - smells great, cleans well, costs $795 per gallon.