My lame attempt at an Onion article...

Area Man Doesn't Know Why He Doodled the Word 'Super'

TOPEKA - After getting off the phone with the building commissioner, city building inspector Chuck Garrison noticed that he had doodled the word "super" on his note pad and has no idea why.

"I'm really confused by this. I don't remember what I was talking about with the Commish that would make me write that. I don't think I've ever actually used the word 'super' before. That's a word my grandma would use, not me," said Garrison. "Like when I was a kid and I'd get an 'A' on my report card or something and grandma would say, 'Oh, Chucky, that's super-duper!' Ya know, stuff like that."

Continued Garrison, "Maybe I was thinking about Superman during the call and only finished the first part of his name. I do like Superman. But wouldn't I have capitalized the 'S'? This one's lower case. Or maybe the Commish was talking about a supervisor for a particular building contractor, and I felt it might be necessary to jot that really important information down," Garrison said sarcastically. "That's not likely. I rarely take notes, only doodles, when talking with the Commish because half of what he has to say is bullshit and the other half is brain vomit. But that's a whole different issue."

Garrison admits that in the past he has found unexplained doodles on his note pad, so this newest incident doesn't really surprise him. Aside from the usual spiral, transparent 3-D box, and repetitive scribbling of his own signature, Garrison's past doodles include a spinning bow tie, the word 'tickle', a Star Trek communicator, and something that bore a striking resemblance to a man's scrotum.

"I have an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality, so I will never admit that that was a ballsack," proclaimed Garrison. "My theory is that I started drawing Pig Pen's head from the Peanuts cartoons and didn't get past the neck."

Garrison concluded, "I don't have the greatest memory in the world, so I can't say I remember why I doodled that word today. I'm not super worried about it, though."

NOTE: I just did a search of Onion articles and found one titled, "Area Man Has No Idea Why He Wrote 'Gazebo Convo-Resolve/Tues (!?)' In Planner Six Weeks Ago." It looks like, once again, I am an unoriginal bastard. Why do I even try?