New Cat Food Angers Feline Parents

BACKYARD, Texas - Sprinkles and Jeepers, founders of COOK (Cats Opposed to Obese Kittens) and parents of kitten Sgt. Fluffybuns, expressed outrage today over the release of a new cat food product they say is being marketed directly to the nations already overweight kittens.



Tender Skittles is a new product recently released by Purina, the makers of the wildly popular Tender Vittles cat food. Tender Skittles is basically human Skittles candy that has been placed in a cat food box. One serving of Tender Skittles contains 830 calories, 156 grams of sugar and 2,329% of a kitten's daily dose of Vitamin C. In only 2 weeks, the product has sold over 14 million units.

"Meow! How can this possibly be good for the health of my Fluffybuns, let alone any other kitten in America meow meow?" asked Sprinkles. "Sure, meow, it's ultimately up to the parents to control what their kittens eat meow meow meow, but Purina isn't making the feline parent's job of raising healthy kittens any easier, meow meow. We'll meow this all the way to the Supreme Meow if we meow meow!"

Purina spokespersons were not available for comment.