"Burger, She Wrote"

I'm perpetually coming up with ideas for new shows on the Food Network. There's "Ready, Steady, Spaghetti", which consists of choosing three people off the street at random who then compete on-the-spot to see who can whip up the best tasting batch of spaghetti the fastest. In the interest of good television, I would make sure that homeless people were often the contestants chosen at "random." There's also "On Your Mark, Get Set, Spaghetti", which is the exact same show. Similar, but different, is "Hasta la Pasta, Oui?", which is a show where Italian food is given a Spanish flair...by French chefs. "Extinction Distinction" is a show where species on the verge of extinction are cooked to perfection by top chefs. Never before seen dishes such as "Elephant Trunk Kabobs with Grape Ape Sauce", "Cheddar Cheetah Fajitas", and "Falafel Chimpizza Pockets" are sure to grace your television screen. When a dish doesn't turn out very good, it will be deemed "extinky." There's another show called "Bake Me a Pie or Make Me a Sandwich" where housewives are first given the choice of baking their husbands a delicious pie or making him an awesome sandwich. Then they make it. And then he eats it to see if it's up to his standards. If the pie or sandwich passes the test, she gets some cash for shopping. If not, well, it could get ugly.

Now I've come up with a show called "Burger, She Wrote", which is none other than Angela Lansbury traveling around to different cities in a quest for the best hamburger. I'm pretty sure the show writes itself. I'm also pretty sure that Angela Lansbury needs work. Unless she's dead.