Daily Showering Tip (5/3/05)...

Sometimes a drunk person needs to get sober quickly. For instance, an airline pilot who's had too many scotch and sodas at Wing Nutz or Sky Bar. One popular method for quickly sobering up a drunk is to throw them into a cold shower. Unfortunately, just as hot coffee has no real sobering effects, the cold shower method is also ineffective. Alcohol is eliminated from the bloodstream at a fairly constant rate by the liver, and dousing someone in cold water will not change that. The only thing that can sober up a drunk is time. But throw that drunk ass in a cold shower anyway. He won't know the difference. Have a little fun with the drunk. Don't forget to use a magic marker to draw wieners around his butthole.