I got a blogger on my finger and I can't get it off...

Look, I understand that in the past few weeks I haven't been posting very often. Or even at all. It's just that I've discovered recently that not only do I have something called "a job", but also something called "a life outside of blogging." It has never been my goal to be a career blogger. I just wanted to share my occasional brain vomit with everyone. To be honest, I'm disgusted to even associate myself with bloggers. Bloggers are fucking retarded if I may be so blunt. They think that people care what they have to say. NOBODY cares what a blogger has to say. That's because almost all blogs are beyond boring. I'd rather read the back of a shampoo bottle and contemplate for hours the perpetual nature of the instructions than read the god-awful blogs that are out there. In fact, 99% of bloggers should be repeatedly kicked in the nuts or vagina - or both if hermaphroditic - until they vow never to write another word ever again. Damn hermaphrodites. They can go fuck themselves for all I care. I'm pretty sure I didn't make up that joke. Anyway, it just so happens that the blog format is the easiest way for me to barf up my undigested thoughts about showers, the Food Network, Taco Bell and Captain Kirk, so here I am in the world of blogs. And because I'm such an altruistic bastard, I choose to share my milky white mind discharges with you, the reader. All I ask in return is for your patience and for your gratitude that this blog exists at all.

Believe it or not, though, I know how you feel. I've been waiting more than a month for Maddox to post something to his website. That jerk needs to update already.

By the way, I am working on stories for Water Blogged Tuesday. I just never said which Tuesday.