Dear Christmas,
Please stop horning in on my holiday. You are annoying the crap out of everyone right now. There's plenty of time for you next month. Just wait for me to do my thing, then the country is yours, you impatient bastard. Notice how I don't go around touting myself during Halloween or Veterans' Day? That's called R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means.
Sincerely,
Thanksgiving
P.S. All Christmas music is lame. Stop playing it so damn much.
P.P.S. You suck.
posted by Tony at 12:39 PM
11 Comments:
Man, this site used to be sweet! Now it just sucks. I guess we should all learn a lesson: don't count on anyone or anything to be there for you. They just fade away and let you down despite promising a shower tip a day. That goal fell way fucking short! What a jerk! Why don't you go suck Maddox's cock, you piece of shit groupie!
4:07 PM
hey anonymous coward:
Why don't you write a shower tip a day, and see how entertaining you are? Post the link to your blog here when yuo got that going. Kkkthx.
I think the best stuff is post-shower tip anyway. That NASA hotrod shit waz classic.
p.s. this site is nothing like maddox anyway, you cum-swilling anonymous whore.
2:26 PM
Dear Sweet Bill:
Go fuck yourself! I don't have a fucking blog you stupid piece of shit. And I'm not that entertaining. Why the hell do you think I come here? Unlike you, I don't get off by sitting at home and fist-fucking my own asshole. And I never said JJ was like Maddox - if you would pay one once of attention, you would realize that he referenced Maddox in an earlier post. Pay the fuck attention asshole!
1:06 PM
FUCK SHIT FUCK FUCK!!!
1:12 PM
Well I'll be damned -- you're right! You aren't that entertaining.
7:00 AM
Anonymous coward:
so since I referred to NASA in my previuos comment, should I go suck NASA's cock, because I'm a groupie? You referred to my comment, so by your logic, you should currently be sucking my cock. Get to it.
Also, you have some serious issues if you sit around thinking about people fisting their own assholes.
12:37 PM
Dear "Sour" Bill: You truly are stupid. First, you spelled previous incorrectly. Second, your analogy makes absolutely zero sense. I mean, I kind of get what you're trying to say and I suppose you're attempting to be funny or witty but its just not working. You would have been better off not responding at all rather than show all five people who read this blog your utter ignorance.
1:16 PM
You are all morons. And by "You" I mean "The anonymous dude"... and by "are all morons" I mean "is a dried-up, stinky dick-licker."
Just passin' thru.
4:27 PM
Is anyone actually insulted any more when accused of something like fist-fucking one's own asshole? Surely, in order to be effective, this relies on a combination of (1) the accused being an own-ass fist-fucker, and (2) being ashamed of it. The first is highly unlikely, and even if true, the accused might very well admit to it, in this modern age of ours. I'm trying to think of the last time accusing someone of homosexuality actually seemed like an insult. "You cocksucker." "Well, no actually, but if I did, what's your point?"
I would like to see the level of insults on the internet raised to something more sublime, relying on keen, and therefore devastating, psychological insight. For example: "You often appear foolish in the eyes of others, particular those whose respect you crave." "You feel worthless in the presence of someone with genuine ability." "You know as well as I that you will die alone, and very likely in great pain."
10:26 AM
By the way, I'm a different anonymous than the human cliche above.
10:27 AM
Anonymous #3, now THAT is the way to rip someone a new one. Sounds like fortune cookies from hell as read by Frasier's Kelsey Grammer.
Where's your blog? I'll buy that for a dollar. JJ, ask this dude to fill in during your ever-more-frequent hiatuses.
10:56 AM
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